Westside Stories Advent Podcast: Weston Straka

Waiting With a God Who Is Near

My name is Weston Straka. I’m a member here, a ruling elder here, married to Laura Straka—who is significantly my better half—and we have two twin boys who are about five months old, Andrew and James. Life is quite full right now, but it’s a lot of fun.

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When I think about waiting, there are a lot of seasons where the Lord has forced me to wait. After my divorce, there was the waiting game of what comes next—what does singleness look like? Is this forever? Shortly after that, I was diagnosed with ulcerative colitis, a chronic illness. What is the Lord doing here? Is this going to be healed? Then infertility—are my wife and I ever going to get to have kids? The Lord has continued to put me in different seasons of waiting.

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It’s been cool to see the Lord’s faithfulness throughout those seasons, but in the midst of them, it’s tough. The divorce was painful, probably the first big period of suffering I’d gone through. Ulcerative colitis has been harder because it’s chronic—it’s lifelong. I’ve asked, “What is the purpose in this? Lord, what are you doing here? I don’t understand why this has to be a part of my story.”

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There were seasons where symptoms would flare up and I’d feel an immense amount of shame. You’re shaking your fist at the Lord saying, “I don’t understand what you’re accomplishing.” I’d try to keep my hands open and say, “Lord, I think I trust you. I’ve seen you be good in seasons past, so I’m going to trust you again.” There would be peace—and then it would get bad again. It waxes and wanes.

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In one season of lament, I stopped trying to do and just tried to sit—to be with the Lord. One day in prayer, I sensed something spoken to my heart: “This is with you for the rest of your life, and I am with you for the rest of your life.” If I have to wait until glory before this is taken away, but Jesus is going to be with me in it, then let’s gear up and do it.

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Ephesians 3 talks about Jesus dwelling inside of us. So when my disease shows its ugly head, it’s not God being distant—it’s Jesus in me, with me, suffering with me. I have a comforter who actually dwells inside of me, like a dear friend, a dear father who is with you in suffering.

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If I go back to my divorce, I saw God as a good boss—but He became a good father. In this season, He’s a father who rolls around on the floor with you, holding you near. Not a distant God, but a God who is close.

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If you’re in the waiting, I’m sorry. People in seasons of suffering understand more than almost anyone that it’s not supposed to be this way—and God is still good. Reach out for the Lord. He’s near, and He wants to remind you of His affections for you.

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- Weston Straka